found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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