He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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