yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
