You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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