My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
