Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize