So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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