Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
no you cant smoke seaweed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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