I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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