Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I bet he comes in French.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
