If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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