After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
