I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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