check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
