Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
