Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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