Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
