Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize