Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
