why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
