It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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