Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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