dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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