and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
