put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was confusing and full of hummus
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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