you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
