I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize