Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
