I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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