Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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