I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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