sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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