Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
