She's JV to your varsity
i already hear my dad disowning me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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