i was born a porn star she said
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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