i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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