then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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