I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
