So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
