I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He better not be in your backpack
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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