So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
