she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize