I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
