Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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