Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You may now shotgun with the bride
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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