love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
