See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
