ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
