the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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