the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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