So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
