You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
