We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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