where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
