And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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