She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
