never play flip cup with pint glasses
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
