everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
