He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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