Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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