the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize