Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
