do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
