EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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