If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
