Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just want nice things and good sex
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
