It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
