You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
