At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
