Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want to make a zoo with you.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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