i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
