Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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