Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
