so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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